The past few days have been weird; .a unique blend of stress & satisfaction, restlessness & comfort, joy and pain.

At times one feels that the entire purpose of life is to keep others happy….but is it?
At times I feel no purpose to life of my own….for some reason every component is tied to others. If you know me well enough…you’d think I was a self sufficient person….and generally I am…..but when it comes to living……there is just one thing I just cant do without food, rest, money….everything is secondary – its the people I am with…it’s the people that create the chaos and the beauty in my life……each and every one has a unique place……I don’t know if anyone can take that place………she’d know if she read this….but I guess she doesn’t…and even if she does……id appreciate she didn’t tell me……it would not serve any purpose but to make me more conscious of my surroundings….

I’m happy this way….my head in the sand…humming away to my own tunes…blinded to the universe around me.

Why do we care about some people so selflessly?
Nothing seems to matter when it comes to them…..

Life is beautiful…tense at times but beautiful nonetheless.

I see the waters in front of me…clean, deep clear….with a soothing green hue to it……sprinkled gently with shimmering sunbeams, that shine into my eye, blinding me temporarily….beautifully…..

Suddenly the beauty dies, what was once a silent river, soothing in its very presence and silence, is the memory of pains long gone, but they keep coming back to me. The fires, the bullets, the bodies, the screams, the pain, the anger, the blood…it just doesn’t stop. The raped innocence, the widowed bride, the childless mother, all culminating in a deafening silence.

Raised from our graves, we stand to face the consequences of every decision we make. Or what we think fate made for us…

Do you believe in fate?
What is fate?

If life we pre programmed by fate, we wouldn’t be held accountable for our deeds. Since everything is pre determined, what’s the point of living the life of a silent worshipper?

Does it all matter?
What difference does it all make?